Speed Dating With Heartbeat Matchmakers

For me, a single woman in her late 30s, meeting single men is difficult. Tired of friends setting me up, I decided to try a service that I always considered the silliest of inventions: speed dating. How can a person talk to another for a few minutes and decide whether or not they want to date? But, after thinking about it, I threw my self-consciousness to the curb and thought, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

The event, organized by Heartbeat Matchmakers, took place at Cellar 56, a beautiful, romantic restaurant in Buckhead. The charming location calmed my nerves for a beat, but my stomach clenched again when I walked into the bar and discovered I was the first female to arrive. Four sets of male eyes followed me (at least in my imagination) as I walked to the registration table. I felt measured, weighed, and judged, and I wondered what impression I had made. After signing up, I wasn’t sure where to sit, so I stood talking to one of the women working the event. To my relief, another woman arrived a few minutes later.

While sitting alone at a table, I looked at the guys present. There were four of them. Two were talking to each other; one was an older gentleman with dark skin and twinkling eyes who made me think of Aristotle Onassis, the other reminded me of a young George Hamilton, complete with smooth good looks and a fake tan. The other two sat alone at the bar and appeared more scholarly. My thought, uncharitable as it was, was they looked like nerds. Sadly, my first judgment was based on appearance and even though all of the men were completely different looking, I wasn’t interested in meeting any of them.

As more people arrived, I was amused to see the men remain on one side of the room, the women on the other. When it comes to male/female relationships, we never get out of eighth grade. We’re still unsure of what the opposite sex thinks and still nervous about approaching them. We pull nervously at our clothes as we scan the room. Of course, as adults we can shore up our courage with alcohol, which can help us navigate difficult situations.

Once the final participants arrived, I noticed one of the men talking to one of the women. By stealthy eavesdropping, I learned they had met at another event thrown by Heartbeat Matchmakers. Already knowing someone or coming with a friend would have alleviated my tension a great deal. Note to self for next time: don’t come alone. Having a friend there would’ve made me relax and feel more comfortable beforehand, although I still would have to handle the speed dating alone.

I had no idea what to expect next and was ready to begin so that I didn’t have to sit alone and pretend to be busy. I watched with great relief as Dejuan addressed the group. This is what I learned:

- Everyone wears a nametag that includes name and a number.
- The women sit at a table and the men go to them.
- Each set talks for five minutes before a bell rings to indicate it’s time to move on.
- At the end of each of the five minutes, we indicate on a form whether or not we want to see the person again, using the number on their nametag rather than their name, to identify each person.

We began with the ring of a bell.

The speed dating part was actually fun. There was no pressure because I knew I had only to mark “No” if I wasn’t interested; therefore, I felt free to be myself without worrying about sending the wrong message. The men were intelligent and interesting in their own ways – five minutes flew by with some and dragged on with others. I laughed and talked and had a great time, but only marked “Yes” for one of the seven men I met. Although they were all very nice, I was only interested in getting to know one better.

At the end of the evening, we all waved “good-bye,” and Dejuan said we’d be notified by email if the person we were interested in was interested in us. Although it took a few days to receive the results, I was fascinated by how excited I was to find out if the guy liked me. I felt like a kid again, or like I was back in eighth grade. Although I learned the guy I liked hadn’t marked me, I can’t say I was surprised. I mean, I didn’t expect to meet anyone, and I think I took the selection process too seriously. I went into this looking for a person I would want to date rather than simply looking for someone I would like to get to know better.

I don’t know if I’d ever go to another speed dating event, but I wouldn’t rule it out. If I did do it again, I would take a friend; I would go expecting to have fun and not have any serious expectations; and I would have more of an open mind to everyone I met. After all, you may not meet your soul mate at a speed dating event, but maybe you’ll make another friend.