Dating on a Budget: Be Frugal And Dateable

You made a connection—you met a woman you want to take on a date. Unfortunately, your current finances are not, shall we say, in wooing condition. Or, maybe you are in a relationship already and the two of you are tiring of the repeated on-the-couch-movie-night, but Netflix is all the entertainment your budget allows. Possibly, you are married, and after Quicken revealed the expense of date night, it was added to the lists of things to cut back on. In the current economic state, many daters feel forced to eliminate dining out and costly entertainment; however, sacrificing enjoyable time together or stressing about how to impress for less is unnecessary, for Atlanta offers a number of discount options and creative, inexpensive date ideas that won’t hurt your wallet.

For men dating on a budget the wallet is not the only element that gets hurt, however. Man’s ego is often aligned with his bank account. While many women relate to the pressure of income affecting dateable status, this issue traditionally affects men on a greater level since men bear the bigger financial burden of dating, at least in the beginning stages of a courtship. Men on budgets are in the unfortunate position of balancing frugality with an intense desire to appear thrifty rather than cheap; thus, adding more stress to dating. On the other hand, as licensed therapist Emily Shupert points out, “While having less money might be seen as a handicap, I see it as a benefit to use one’s creativity more than those who have more money.”

Jeremy Blume, co-founder of Bearings: A Southern Lifestyle Guide for Men agrees: “A man needs to be authentic to who he is and what he can and can’t afford. Creativity and showing that you truly do admire her and want to get to know her will carry a guy farther than his wallet.”

Coupons, Discounts and Deals
Creativity is key to dating on a budget. Several websites and restaurant groups, such as Scout Mob, Concentrics Restaurants and Fifth Group Restaurants, offer discounts on dining and activities simply by signing up. No advance payment required. Other websites, such as Groupon, Tippr and Half Off Depot, email daily discount coupons for purchase. Armed with these bargains in your inbox you will create a repertoire of ideas to choose from when planning a date. For the budget dater, these notifications seem a lot less like junk mail and more like opportunity.

Another savvy way to save money when dating is to visit restaurants and hotspots on their “special” nights when they offer deals on food and beverages. For example, on Monday nights you can find $1 Nigiri and $5 sushi rolls at Aja in Buckhead; $1 tacos at Noche in Vinings; all-you-can-eat tapas for $10 at Shout in Midtown; and half price bottles of wine at Velenza in Brookhaven. And, this is just on Mondays! There is a deal to be found somewhere every night of the week. Check out your favorite restaurants’ websites for their weekly specials and plan your dates accordingly.

Music, Art, and the Outdoors:
In a city the size of Atlanta with an equally enormous social scene, it’s not difficult to find free or low price date options. For example, Piedmont Park’s Unplugged in the Park concert series delivers 20 Sundays of free performances, and Peachtree TV’s Screen on the Green shows blockbuster movies for free throughout the summer.

Want to show your date some culture? Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) offers eight free exhibits per year by artists of international repute. In addition, the eclectic facility often opens its doors to the public to show off student works at no charge. Also, Ferst Center Galleries at Georgia Tech offers viewings of photography by contemporary student artists at no charge. On the first Thursday of each month through October, check out First Thursdays ArtsWalk Downtown and First Thursdays Gallery Walks in Buckhead. Participating galleries stay open late (until 9 p.m. or 10 p.m.) and serve refreshments.

With fall around the corner, many Atlantans will be delighted to forget the scorching heat we have experienced the last three months. Walking, biking, hiking, and the classically inexpensive and romantic picnic are perfect outings for the frugal dater. The ultimate picnic basket for under $25 includes: Trader Joe’s Two-Buck Chuck wine, French bread, brie, grapes, strawberries and a bag of Hershey’s Kisses. Helpful hint: grab a thick blanket. It helps protect from rocks and moisture and looks a lot nicer than the floral sheets you’ve had in the closet since the 80’s.

Money Doesn’t Make The Man
Let’s face it, dating is expensive, especially when you date more than one person at a time, but, as Shupert explains, “a date is more than an opportunity to show off how much money one has. It’s an opportunity to explore compatibility and creativity.”
Money does not automatically ensure a successful date. “It’s entirely possible to have a great date that costs very little and on the other hand, it’s just as possible to have a terrible date and spend a fortune,” Blume says. “A gentleman can put his best foot forward by being himself, being on time, and putting a little thought and effort into the experience.”

Dave, a 33-year old investment specialist is not keen on using coupons. “That last thing I want to do is pull out a piece of paper with a discount I printed from Groupon while on a first date with a hot girl!” He says. Although he is a Groupon subscriber, Dave suggests men get to know someone casually over coffee or a drink before the dinner reservation splurge and before busting out the coupons. He waits until the third date, when he feels more comfortable with her, to use coupons or deals.

Christopher, a 26 year old painter, says, “I use my motorcycle as an inexpensive way to hang out with a girl that I like. I offer to take her on a nice ride and I have a few spots that are good for a romantic view.” Christopher would not reveal his sunset locations. “Guys need to figure out their own spots,” he says. Not all men have Christopher’s movie star looks or a motorcycle, but his advice for twenty-something men is simple: “In order to make her feel special you don’t have to buy a bouquet. Handing her a single rose is a lot cheaper and still makes her feel special.” His motorcycle charm certainly worked. His girlfriend of six months says, “I loved holding onto him tightly!”

Michael, a 47-year old software salesman, shares Christopher’s dating principle of making women feel special. “Taking a woman on a date sure was a lot easier in my twenties,” he admits. “It was all cheap beer and pizza back then.” To date on a budget, Michael says he developed impressive cooking skills over the years. He can buy the ingredients he needs for his shrimp risotto and a bottle of “middle-of-the-road” wine for $50. “Women seem to enjoy sipping on a glass of Chardonnay and watching me frantically stir in my apron,” he laughs. “One woman flirtatiously called me Michael Ray.”

Show Appreciation
Men shell out more money than women on dates; therefore, women should show their appreciation. No, that doesn’t mean you owe him sex, a kiss, or even a second date. It means you should realize the effort he’s making on the first date. All three of the men interviewed would rather go on another date with a woman who seemed very appreciative than one who paid for half and never thanked him for any of his efforts. Be genuine about your desire to contribute, if you sincerely have one.

Early on in his relationship with his girlfriend, Ashley*, Christopher found a deal on Facebook for last minute concert tickets. “I know that he is a painter and times are tough, so I didn’t mind that the concert was a last minute deal and I bought the beers to show appreciation,” Ashley says.

This is pretty basic dating knowledge; yet many women act oblivious when it comes to pitching in and saying, “thank you.” When a guy goes out of his way to plan and execute a wonderful date, offer to chip if you can, especially when you know his financial situation, but even when you don’t, it’s polite to offer to pay for a drink after dinner. Odds are he’ll decline your offer, but he’ll remember it. For those instances when your finances are in such dire straits that you cannot afford to buy him a beer at a concert or a drink after dinner, wait for offers rather than making requests. When your funds are low, you’re not in a position to demand expensive dinners and $100 bottles of wine even if your date can afford them.

Men, the stress you feel to impress is understandable. With television shows like “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire” in combination with the incredibly unrealistic dates that “The Bachelor” takes women on, no wonder you feel like you are required to drop a load of cash to qualify. In the real world, however, women respect thoughtfulness. If you need to, start small with monetary value as you get to know someone. Meet her for coffee or a cocktail instead of dinner, plan a picnic, or go for a walk and talk. Regardless of the activity or the expense, be generous with your attention, understanding, thoughtfulness, and creativity.

You might have to cut costs sometimes, but that’s no excuse for being short on true generosity and true appreciation.

Date Night’s Favorite Weekly Deals:
Sunday: “$7 Sundays” at Kyma. All meze (Greek appetizers) plus specialty cocktails and select wines available for $7 each.

Monday: “Half off Mondays” at Dolce Enoteca e Ristorante. 50% off all food.

Tuesday: “$2 Taco Tuesdays” at Cantina Taqueria & Tequila Bar in Buckhead.

Wednesday: “Wine Wenesday” at Genki Buckhead and Genki at The Prado in Sandy Springs. Bottles from Genki’s new wine list priced at $12, $15, $18 and $20-$24.

Thursday: “All You Can Eat/Drink Pizza Night” at Lobby Bar and Bistro at Atlantic Station. $10 for all-you-can-eat pizza or $15 for all-you-can-eat pizza and beer or wine from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Friday: “Friday Happy Hour” at The Nook in Midtown. Buy one, get one appetizers with your purchase of an adult beverage between from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.

Saturday: “The Winedown” at WineStyles Perimeter. $8 per person allows you to try eight different wines.

*Not her real name.

Sarah King contributed to this article.

Photo courtesy of Genki at The Prado