The 5 Love Languages - A Review

Gary Chapman’s international bestseller, The 5 Love Languages has enlightened countless couples about how to effectively respond to and communicate with one another. According to Chapman, “Seldom do a husband and wife have the same primary love language”; therefore, learning your partner’s language is crucial to providing him or her with the emotional stability and comfort needed. Identifying your love language is equally important in order to understand your emotional needs and communicate them to your significant other.

So, what is a love language? It’s a method of communicating emotional love. Dr. Chapman believes there are five emotional love languages; however, each language has unique dialects. “The number of ways to express love within a love language is limited only by one’s imagination,” he writes.

Defining the Five Love Languages
Words of Affirmation: These include encouraging words, kind words and humble words.

Quality Time: This encompasses focused attention, quality conversation, learning to talk and quality activities.

Receiving Gifts: “Gifts are visual symbols of love” that may be purchased, found or made.

Acts of Service: Doing things for your significant other that he or she would like (not necessarily things you like to do).

Physical Touch: Without physical touch, Chapman says, some people feel unloved.

Identifying your love language and that of your loved one is the first step. The second step is to communicate your love language and learn the love language of your significant other.

Wouldn't it be easier to find a mate whose love languages you already know rather than attempt to learn new ones? Dr. Chapman says such is not necessary. “If [two people] share the same love language, then maybe they don't have to work as hard to understand each other's way of communicating love. However, any two people still stand to have their unique differences, and so in that way, there is still work to be done. For folks who don't speak the same love language, this, too, can be advantageous in that it possibly brings with it more mystery and opportunity for creativity. Of course, it can be challenging, too.”

Ultimately, you work hard in relationships you feel are worth hard work. Dr. Chapman provides access to better understanding your loved one, so that, hopefully, the work stops feeling so hard.

7 Interesting Highlights
The 5 Love Languages presents a wealth of examples to support Dr. Chapman’s theory and includes numerous thought-provoking tidbits. Here are seven that caught our attention:

- The average person listens for only 17 seconds before interrupting.

- We are influenced by our personality but not controlled by it.

- Don’t make the mistake of believing that the touch that brings pleasure to you will also bring pleasure to your significant other.

- Few men, suffering from an empty emotional love tank, leave their marriage until they have prospects of meeting that need somewhere else.

- Love is something you do for someone else.

- When an action doesn’t come naturally to you, it’s a greater expression of love.

- The need for significance is the emotional force behind much of our behavior.

Read Dr. Chapman’s book for more information about the five love languages, including tips for how to practice them. Visit http://www.5lovelanguages.com for more information.