You Don't Owe Him a 2nd Date...

But, How About Some Courtesy?

He picked you up. He picked up the tab. You felt no sparks. He asked for a second date via phone or text. You didn’t respond. He tried one or more additional times to contact you – he was that interested. His continued attempts fell on deaf ears/blind eyes.

Unfortunately, dud dates happen. Sometimes more often than we’d like. Although I try to give most men the benefit of the doubt through a second date (not everyone presents well on a first date), it’s okay to decline another date with someone with whom you feel no connection after the first date.

However.

Declining a date requires you to actually provide an answer of “No,” rather than ignore the asker.

Text makes these somewhat awkward moments so much easier to navigate; yet, many women still choose the cowardly way out. It’s no fun letting someone down or hurting someone’s feelings. On the flip side, however, is it not rude to ignore someone whose only flaw is that he’s more into you than you are into him? He likes you, or thinks he has the potential to like you, so give him the courtesy of an answer, so he won’t wonder why you went out for post-dinner drinks and then disappeared.

We women lambast men for not calling us after dates when they say will. Not responding to a second date invitation is no different.* It was only a first date. You’re not breaking his heart and probably not hurting his feelings. His ego may take a hit, but like you, he wants to know how you feel rather than hang in limbo. Sure, your silence will eventually do the job of signaling your disinterest, but not as efficiently as your directness.

Stop thinking about how uncomfortable it makes you feel to decline his offer and consider his feelings. If he continues to contact you after you give him an answer, ignore away.

*Unless he was exceptionally rude or otherwise inappropriate.