Playing the Fool

When a relationship ends, we overanalyze the circumstances and behaviors that led to the breakup, especially if the ending was difficult. Inevitably, I feel like a fool for one reason or another regardless of whether or not I initiated the breakup. Sometimes, I feel foolish for entering into the relationship in the first place. At other times, I feel foolish for allowing the relationship to progress further than it should. Still, at other times, when I discover he has lied to me, I feel foolish for believing him.

However, that’s what you do in relationships and in love – you believe. You believe your significant other is truthful. You believe in the love you feel and the love he or she expresses. You believe the rough times will smooth out. You believe the relationship will last.

So, there’s no reason to feel foolish when it ends unless you acted wrong in some way. Life is too short to overanalyze and to spend another moment wondering what you could have done differently. Next time, maybe you won’t give him or her a second chance, or maybe you will because next time will be worth it. Relationships work out how they’re supposed to. You can’t change the trajectory of your life in retrospect.

On the other hand, if you acted wrong in your relationship, you can certainly change the outcome of the next one by learning from your mistakes and not repeating them. An(other) apology to the person you wronged never hurts.

The English say, “Start as you mean to go on,” to which I add “with a clear conscience and good intentions.” This is your only life and it’s short. Treat yourself and others right.