Our “That’s What HE Said” Guy panel was a wonderful success due in large part to the varying male personalities of the panel members. With the exception of one, the guys were open about their feelings and opinions related to various dating topics.
Southside Steve Rickman may have been too open for some guests’ tastes, but you have to respect a guy with a consistent personality, whether you agree with him or not. He doesn’t put on airs (is that possible with a ponytail?) or pretend to be someone other than his outrageously crass self. I doubt he’s ever been labeled charming, but he’s genuine. He puts it all out there from the beginning, so people know exactly what they’re signing up for when they interact with him. 300+ bed post notches don’t lie.
Jamie Bendall, the owner of The Punchline comedy club and the only married panel member provided much appreciated insight into the mind of a man who’s been married for more than ten years. Some similar issues daters deal with affect marriages as well, only married partners react differently. When you’re married, the silent treatment doesn’t work so well, especially when you have kids. You can’t indefinitely ignore your spouse’s phone calls and texts because you’re mad. A 40lb weight gain isn’t an automatic deal breaker—she did just carry and birth your child, after all. Some of the rules change when you’re married, but some stay the same.
Three of the most controversial topics discussed on the panel were Condom Usage, Cheating and, of course, Sex – can’t talk about dating, relationships and marriage without mentioning S.E.X.
Condoms:The men agreed that condom usage is essential before you enter into a monogamous relationship; though, I’m willing to bet they’ve had as much sex without using one. Women are often too lax about condom usage when a guy complains that it “doesn’t feel as good.” It feels a helluva lot better than an STD. Even those who don’t want to use one will if it’s the difference between having sex and not. Those that won’t wear a condom are irresponsible and, frankly, disrespectful. Ladies, don’t risk your health on a guy who doesn’t care about yours.
Cheating: Oh, cheating. A topic that easily gets me riled up. The guys on the panel, however, responded with conviction: cheating is a choice. Plain and simple. No excuses. When you decide to step outside of your marriage or stray from your girlfriend or boyfriend, you make a choice to be a cheater. The circumstances that lead you there are irrelevant. On the flipside, when you allow a cheater to stay in your life, that’s your choice to live with if he or she cheats again. It’s up to you to decide how you want to be treated.
Sex: When asked what makes women good and bad in bed, the panel members said confidence is essential. Discovering what you want and need is one step – voicing it to your partner is the other. Men want to know. Also, mind-blowing sex relies on compatibility. What doesn’t work for one partner might be the answer to another partner’s prayers. Compatibility.
When you want to know what men think, ask them. Look for another guy panel coming your way soon.
Photo by Shane Durrance